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Walls and Bridges

An old friend (should I really call him a friend? We knew each other and talked a lot, but in the end, I let the communication between us dissolve into memory, primarily because he constantly insulted me in a passive aggressive covert way, so he could not be pinned down on anything and could feign innocence, a trait I dislike in ALL people who practice it.) In any case, this person from my past found me on Facebook, and is my way, "The Queen of Second Chances" I allowed the conversation to go on, albeit only in my private message box, as I immediately told him that I would not friend him because my politics would irritate him, and I did not wish to argue with Liberals any longer. Yes, the man is a flaming liberal, believing all the lies that entails. At first the conversation was pleasant enough, with a how ya doing kind of casualness, but then the insults started, and I told him to be happy with the lovely wall he has built and by all means continue to festoon it with his demeaning phrases and condescending diatribes. I did not care to breach it any longer. The other side was not as green as I was led to believe.

That wall. That damn wall they build! As fond as they are of the whole "building bridges" analogy, what they build is walls. Or bridges to nowhere. Bridges that make you want to leap off.

The first brick in the wall is the "Silence Brick". Or the "Shut up". Used so often by the left it really is a cornerstone in communicating with them. If they cannot shout you down or talk over you, they will belittle and mock you into silence.

The second brick is the "Regurgitate Brick". Just keep throwing the same phrase over and over, or bringing up some point from the past and throwing that up in your face over and over again.

The third brick is the "Belittling Brick". They attack your self esteem while trying to elevate their own, with chiding insults. If they can make you doubt your self worth, they can then make your argument worthless as well.

Brick by brick they always build the wall, and I have no interest any longer in even trying to scale it.
chisign

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Apr. 21st, 2010 03:28 am (UTC)
I know that you have labeled me "passive aggressive" a few times and that seems uncalled for, almost insulting.

I know this is probably irrelevant but I thought I would point out one situation with you where I was in the "silent stage" and that when you were yelling in the car about in n out. I didn't want to explain to you that in n out was a bit of my childhood that I remember sharing with my grandma. So it wasn't necessarily that I was in love with in n out but that it reminded me of the good days. But I wasn't going to say all that when you were yelling about if you ever tried in n out you wouldn't like it but it doesn't matter since you said you'll never come to california.

I find women intimidating so I'm not going to confront you (or any other woman) on anything.

I'm sure the story I just shared makes me even more of a passive aggressive person but that's in your eyes.

dynachik
Apr. 21st, 2010 03:29 am (UTC)
I know that you have labeled me "passive aggressive" a few times and that seems uncalled for, almost insulting.

I know this is probably irrelevant but I thought I would point out one situation with you where I was in the "silent stage" and that when you were yelling in the car about in n out. I didn't want to explain to you that in n out was a bit of my childhood that I remember sharing with my grandma. So it wasn't necessarily that I was in love with in n out but that it reminded me of the good days. But I wasn't going to say all that when you were yelling about if you ever tried in n out you wouldn't like it but it doesn't matter since you said you'll never come to california.

I find women intimidating so I'm not going to confront you (or any other woman) on anything.

I'm sure the story I just shared makes me even more of a passive aggressive person but that's in your eyes.
nalora
Apr. 22nd, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC)
Here is the deal: You say things "aimed" at me, and you will deny they are, (which is passive aggressive), instead of just saying what you want to say openly and directly to me. You do this so you have an escape route. You can deny that what you said had anything to do with me, and that *I* am at fault for misreading or misinterpreting what you said. In this way other people are always at fault, and you escape. But in reality you DON'T because deep inside you know that the truth.

There is also the guilt tripping. Your second paragraph is also meant to shift blame to me, an attempt to manipulate the situation by guilt. I had no way of knowing that your memory with the freaking hamburger joint was associated by YOU with your beloved and now dead grandmother, and to me, it is JUST a burger joint. In the grand scheme of things it is not that important to me.

I attempted to regain our friendship, but I really don't see it happening. You say you don't trust me, and well that is where friendship begins. I stopped responding to your negativity because it just drags me down (and there are other people in the world besides you that suffer from depression, yea DIAGNOSED and everything, what a revelation) and I think my responding to it, just encourages it. There are people in the world that will suck you dry if you let them, and to be honest, you are one of them. Try for a moment to remember the last time you complimented one of your friends.

Personally, if this is the kind of friendship you have to offer to me, one of distrust, one where if I don't jump and console you every time you are down, one where you say things to me but not TO me, then what really is the point?

Like I said, I tried. But it does not look like it is happening. I don't hate you, I don't dislike you, I just know that YOU are not willing to make any effort to keep and or promote the friendship, nor do you desire any closeness like we had, because you cannot forgive even the slightest thing, like an argument over a HAMBURGER JOINT.

Maybe in your next friendship you will try giving more and taking less.




Edited at 2010-04-22 03:28 pm (UTC)
martavage
Apr. 22nd, 2010 12:59 pm (UTC)
They are in power now you would think that would make them happy. But no they have yet to kill anyone. It is their dream to kill as well or so they laugh at the idea of this and smile telling you no. If you don't think like them then they want you to just die. I wish I could remember the name of the movie. Were they ie liberals invited various Republicans to a dinner and poisoned them. I thought it was interesting how they seemed to get away with it.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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